I'm Back?

After thinking about it for sometime, and mostly forgetting about this, figured why not! Why not jump back into film reviews? With a new one this week?

Reviews?

I may do one or two last reviews sometime this month (maybe) but in December without actually telling anyone, I decided to stop doing reviews. I'll keep this blog open to do more of movie rants and just plain entertainment talk (like how I used to do it a few years, before it went to just reviews). So, if you wanna know what I'll be blogging about, just take a look back a few years at this blog and you'll know. Or who knows, maybe I'll just stick with reviewing, probably not, but ya know never know!

Kick-Ass 2

When Hit-Girl aka Mindy calls it quits from being a Superhero to focus on just being a "normal" girl, Kick-Ass is forced to roam the streets and train alone, until he meets up with Doctor Gravity who introduces Kick-Ass to a whole group of other Super Heroes who have teamed up and called themselves, "Justice Forever". Chris D'Amico still delves into the fact that Kick-Ass killed his father, more and more rage builds up and soon he becomes known as, "The Motherfucker" who plans on being the first super villain to kill Kick-Ass. After Motherfucker gets an army of evil villains it's up to Kick-Ass and Justice Forever to take down criminals and engage in a massive battle of Good and Evil.


Did love watching this film, the action, comedy, all the actors, was just a good combination.

Was happy that all the actors (minus the ones who died in previous film) came back to reprise and "Kickass" once more.

The story was good, and I can't compare it to the comic yet as I still have yet to read it, but I did read # 1 and from what I saw in the film it did follow it. Jim Carrey's performance as Colonel Stars and Stripes was just great watching and my fear was seeing him over act, which for once did not and almost was not recognizable since he took on the character full on, and did no jokes (well one, but it was slight).

I give, Kick-Ass 2, 7/10

Kick-Ass 2 Wikipedia

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The Conjuring

Ed and Lorraine Warren are renown Paranormal Experts going to case to case, seeing if a place is really haunted or just a floor board creaking. Carolyn Perron seeks the help of the two experts after she notices her house maybe haunted and causing her harm. Not long after the Warren's get to Perron's house, they notice a very evil entity living in the house, and now it's up to the Warren's and their helpers to try and rid the house of all evil.

I think my jaw was on the floor throughout the whole film. Also this film really just blew me away, living up to all my expectations and then some!


This may just be the best horror film I have ever seen, so I may never need to see another horror film knowing this film is out. This film (to me) also makes the movie The Exorcist look like a kiddy movie. The plot was shortened as there was a lot that happened in the film and I just really don't like spoilers.

Acting was superb! Everyone who served in the film did a truly fantastic job and delivering the best horror film. There was little to none CGI, which was great, mainly old school horror, with it mainly being a psychological horror, but when the scares did happen, they gave me goosebumps...

Story was just excellent, creating a lot of base story before scaring you. Then as the scares deliver the story adds even more. That's what I think is missing from a lot of horror movies today, the story.

Music also was amazing, serving a very grim sounding soundtrack throughout the film, slowing increasing in volume, then you know something is about to happen!

Did hear there is going to be a sequel, and I just hope that it's able to bring the wow factor and not just be, bleh like everything else out there. This film however did end with a solid ending, not leaving you with a cliffhanger which I liked, as if they didn't make another, I wouldn't be mad.

If you are a horror fan and is looking for the best horror film, then I truly recommend this film, it might even be, best film of the year (maybe too ambitious).

I give, The Conjuring, 10/10

The Conjuring Wikipedia link

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Sharknado

When a massive hurricane comes to L.A the people notice that the storm is bringing more than just wind and water, its throwing sharks into the land and threatening it's inhabitants. Now it's up to a group of wannabe's to come up with a plan to not only fight the sharks but destroy the tornadoes that sprouted mysteriously after the hurricane.

I'm so happy that this film was only 90 minutes, I couldn't of tolerated another minute.

The acting was so awful it actually made me laugh. It seemed like a 10 year old wrote the script.

Cast includes, a chick from the American Pie films, a dude that looked kinda familiar from the 90's, an old guy that was in the Home Alone movie, and everything you've never seen before.

Once the sharks somehow flew (not even from the hurricane or tornado) and swallowed up the people, then it was getting to funny, I actually laughed my ass off when one chick fell from a helicopter in the hopes of killing one shark then another shark out of nowhere, swallows her.

Sadly though, there is going to be a sequel which was announed during the movie, and next time it will be in N.Y. I just can't see how wildly popular this film got in not even a week.

I give, Sharknado, 1.5/10

Sharknado Wikipedia

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Battleship

When NASA discovers objects heading towards earth 5 years after they send a message to space, US Navy is forced into battle when the space craft land in water, sending a force field around the water. When 3 Navy Ships are trapped, it's up to them to try and take out the alien beings.


Yup, very little plot as very little happened. I didn't see this film in the theatre as I was very skeptical about this film.

Everything about this film was just horrible despite it having a couple good actors in it (Liam Neeson, Alexander Skarsgård).

The script was just horrible, was poorly written, plus the forced in jokes seemed very out of place.

Another big flop was having "Rihanna" in the film as she was the worst "Actress" in film, yes it's in quotations as she couldn't act. I did however like that they did show what the aliens looked like, but even the big special effects couldn't make me like it, it was almost a chore watching till the end.

When I first saw the trailer in 2012, I thought it was a trailer for a new Transformers film, but just looked like a watered down copy of Transformers that's much worse and just not worth making.

They did have a scene in the film that did look just like the Hasbro Battleship game, also firing blind. The alien missile actually looked like the pegs you put into the ships in the board game.

I just can't believe how big of a flop this film was.

I give, Battleship, 2/10

Battleship Wikipedia

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Man of Steel

After his home planet is imploding itself, Kal-El is sent to Earth to be free. When the Kent's take him in as their own, Clark now grows up more or less regular life, but with amazing abilities. When his father tells him the world isn't ready for him, and to keep what he is a secret, Clark then leaves home to pursue a life of mystery and secrecy. When alien ships start coming to earth, in the hopes of finding Kal-El, General Zod wants to find him, and possibly kill him. When the world knows of Clark or "Superman" the battle is on between Superman and General Zod, with a super sized fist fight in the middle of Metropolis. Superman must find a way to stop Zod or face the extinction of humans.


This just might be the best Superman film ever made.


The acting was just fantastic, Henry Cavill certainly pulled of Superman in an amazing way. Amy Adams as Lois Lane was great too. Michael Shannon as General Zod was probably the best take on the character since the 70's version. Even the supporting cast was cast perfectly as well.

Story was incredible, so much happened, as well as a very good origin of Clark as a kid, made for a more darker story on a classic character. Also, I left out most the story in the plot since so much happened in the film, almost everything was a spoiler.

CGI was also very, very impressive, I almost believed for a second that a man could fly. Seeing Superman flying/shooting red lasers from his eyes and fighting with Zod, was just incredible watching. Also the destruction of Metropolis looked amazing.

I was a little surprised they didn't have Lex Luthor or even Kryptonite in the film, but seeing as this is just the beginning, I can see them bringing out the green doom, and Lex in future films.

I give, Man of Steel, 9/10

Man of Steel Wikipedia

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Jack the Giant Killer

The "Asylum" film.

When Jack receives beans on his 18th birthday, he think they're a joke and throws them in the ground, only find that the next day a massive beanstalk has grown. More attention gather around this mysterious beanstalk, a woman that gets to close gets slapped by the vines, Jack swoops in to save her, only to get caught and thrown up into the magical "Cloud World?" Jack then runs from his life some kind of monster, to find a magical floating castle, he then meets his father who has been there for 18 years, but only 18 earth days. They both meet a "evil chick" that wants to control the monsters onto earth and be the ruler. She then does it, Jack and his Father somehow take the floating castle to earth to hopefully save everyone from the monsters.




A real shit-flick if I've ever seen one. The story, was lacking so much, that it was putting me to sleep. A lot of plot holes, that when you realize their own story mistakes, you start laughing.

Acting was incredibly awful, I don't even see how they got funding for this film. It was all a joke.

That cover is a lie, Jack didn't fight with swords, or duel swords.. He used his robot mechanical machine to fight them. Also, "Giant Killer" there was no "Giants" in the film, just monsters. It seemed to take place now, but with the props they used, could of easily looked as if it took place in the 60's. CGI was...well a joke.

I give, Jack the Gian Killer, 2/10

Asylum's Giant Killer Wikipedia link...

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Exorcist II: The Heretic

After being nearly forced into investigating the death of Father Merrin, Father Lamont now travels to New York to speak with, Regan. Since Regan has been doing therapy for some time now, her doctor, Dr. Tuskin  who has a new device that hooks up to two people's head, allowing one another to see their dreams or memories. Once Lamont and Regan get hooked up, her past memories from that frightful night reveal new details about the demon, Pazuzu. Lamont then travels to Africa where he hopes to find a man who once defeated, Pazuzu. When Lament finds Kokumo he gains more knowledge. Lament then returns to New York only to get in a hypnotized state after being "connected" to Regan again. The two travel to Washington back to the house where it all began, in a final battle with Pazuzu once more.

A very amazing film (The Exorcist) gets a sequel, and one part made me laugh.

A few people returned for this film, and I don't see how they did, since this film was a complete disaster, and horror films aren't supposed to make you laugh, this one did.

Story was sloppy at best, making the main focus of the film more based on the demon this time.

I can't say much about this film other than, why did they make it? It's the worst horror sequel film I've ever seen, and I've seen a ton of horror films. The first film, was perfect, a nice A-B story that didn't leave any ties, this sequel was very unnecessary, and a waste of 118minutes.

I give, Exorcist II: The Heretic, 2/10

The Heretic Wikipedia Link 

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After Earth

It's my birthday (today the 4th) and I'll drink Sake if I want to. So here's my review of...


After their ship has to make an emergency landing after going through a asteroid storm in space, forces them to land or crash on planet, Earth. Since 1,000 years have passed, Earth is now considered an unlivable planet, with  animals which have evolved to hunt and kill humans. Cypher (Will Smith) has both his legs broken, stranded on the ship, his son Kitai (Jaden Smith) has to find the back end of the ship, which landed many miles away. Earth is no longer filled with Oxygen, forcing Kitai to use special inhalers so he can breath. Kitai must now go to the other end of the ship alone, with his father watching his every move, so he can have an early warning system. Kitai must battle through Earth with giant sized Baboons, giant tigers, also trying to avoid the now different temperature where, certain parts can get freezing cold, he must battle all that, climb a volcano, to hopefully find a help beacon to send out a signal so they can get help.

I went into this film, with not knowing anything about it other than what I saw in the trailers. It could of been the Sake, but this film really wasn't all that horrible, nor was it the best science fiction film.

Acting was as good as it could of been, with a cast of just two, with the rest of the actors literally only in the film for just ten minutes. I did however like the story, had a nice sci-fi story set 1,000 years into the future, where earth is now a dead zone.

The CGI was mild to OK. It didn't have the best looking creatures, but you could make them out, and guess what they were, since they didn't say what each creature/alien was, just had to guess.

Story was simple, just go to point A to point B and get help, with creatures trying to kill the kid, nothing real complex or outstanding, but nothing to turn away. Since I did no research about the film, I didn't know till the very end, that M Night Shyamalan did the film, and thought since his horror films kinda suck, this sci-fi was honestly his best film since I saw, Signs ( at 13, dragged into the theatre to see it), but "Devil" wasn't so bad either. It did seem much better than all his other films, so maybe with more work, a lot more work, sci-fi films might be his forte.

So, it wasn't the best science fiction film out there, but it wasn't the worst.

I give, After Earth, 6/10

After Earth Wiki link

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